Do I like Citrix?

I saw a forum post the other day referring to this site (which is way fucking uber cool in itself. Major thanks for the plug!). But it troubled me that it made the assertion that I don't at all like Citrix. Certainly I can understand how one would get this impression from the posts. But it's not true.

I've been doing Citrix for a long time. I've had lunches with Mark Templeton, gone to solution summits, had lunches with the developers (great guys), attended iForum (got completely hammered), and did it all on Citrix's dime. Citrix has treated me very well, and I've made a successful career out of working with their products. Indeed, some of the quirks of their products have served to make the Citrix skill set more exclusive. Long ago Citrix made a decision to foster community around their products. Sure it's taken them a while to get it right, but it's a good thing. They're not perfect, but there are far worse software companies out there.

The point is that I'm all about giving credit where credit is due, and Citrix deserves alot of credit for a great many thing.

So what's with all the zings?

I can't begin to count the number of blogs out there that deal with thin computing. While many of these are technically interesting, they also tend to be butt-kissy and flacid in content. My goal is to keep it interesting here by speaking from the real side of IT with a healthy dose of the cynicism that proliferates most enterprise shops.

Real IT isn't sitting around sipping lattes while talking about great new feature sets in products. Real IT is plowing through all the bugs and unexpected behavior those new products add as 'features'. IT is getting called in the middle of the night because some fucktard can't log in. Our day to day is decidedly less fluffy than many vendors, Citrix included, would have us believe about their products.

So there ya go. I'm not against Citrix, Microsoft, or most other companies out there.. except Scientology of course, and then all bets are off. I'm just trying to expose the underbelly of the IT and thin computing landscape and have a little fun doing it.

Who knows, Someday some dude/dudette at Citrix may be reading this blog (they do quite frequently, btw) and maybe find something useful that they can use to improve their products. I wouldn't count on it, but it's possible. Innovation is good for everyone, even assholes like me.

-CG

Paging Dr. Xen to Delivery

In one guy's humble opinion, the person that is responsible for coming up with marketing slogans at Citrix really needs to consider hitting a second cup of coffee in the morning. No doubt you've noticed the new splash when you visit the Citrix.com site. It takes up half the page to deliver the following message:

The Game has Changed.

Transform your Datacenter into a Delivery Center.

Introducing Citrix Delivery Center.

Now is it just me or does that sound like some kind of superbowl ad for a maternity ward? I mean seriously..the Citrix Delivery Center? That's all you guys could come up with? You need to hire someone with a pulse to do your marketing.

Oh but let not your heart be troubled, kids. I've come up with a few alternate suggestions. I know..I know. I'm a giver. It's just how I am.

How about:

The game has changed. We're combining all our suites into a new super-enterprise-platinum-mega-super-uber-suite that all runs on NetScaler.

The game has changed. Resource manager is another story. Say, have you checked out Edgesight?

The game hasn't actually changed...just the name of our products.

The game is up. Too bad your servers aren't.

The game has changed. We're actually considering writing our next software product instead of just buying it up.

Any other suggestions?

-CG