CDRom Scripting Fun

Here's a nifty bit of shop talk. Although no one really uses them, the Windows Media Player API exposes the CDRom controls. The following code snippit uses vbscript to eject the cdrom. It's only a few lines, so you could easily put it in .. oh I dunno.. a login script or something. Just imagine the little snaps of cdroms ejecting all over the office at 9am. Now that is some capital whimsy, folks.


Set objMPlay = CreateObject("WMPlayer.OCX.7" )
Set colCDROM = objMPlay.cdromCollection
if colCDROM.Count >= 1 then
For i = 0 to colCDROM.Count - 1
colCDROM.Item(i).Eject
Next
End If


If you would like to learn more about scripting with Media Player, then you are a dork and I pity you. All that aside, the SDK is available here.



-CG

Ericom to Citrix: Chew on This!

This is big news.

In a very interesting and fuckyouCitrix-esque turn of events Ericom has stepped up and is offering a free version of Windows Power Term to be released with Windows Server 2008.

Now I haven't personally used Powerterm, but I hear it's not too bad. And hell, if it's free, then it's a no-brainer. This is a real sucker punch to Citrix in the small to medium office arena. In the present economic landscape, you can bet that a free and workable alternative to Citrix will be embraced by companies. This is especially true in the medium size sector where the company or app is just too big or important to only use terminal server, but they hate seeing that damn Citrix line item every year.

Hats off to Ericom for a very bold and I must add cunning move! But now what?

The problem is that very few decision makers are tuned into the virtualization world like us. Let's face it; they have lives and have probably never been addressed by anyone as "Dungeon Master". It's up to us as engineers to sell this thing and give it visibility. Ericom is putting itself out there and if this does well, it's going to introduce competition. That's going to force innovation on Citrix's part. That is unless of course Citrix just buys Ericom, which would be in line with their recent product launches.

See original info here.

-CG

Free TS CALs Forever!

I've given you a way to get around the Citrix licensing. It's only fair that I illustrate how to give the finger to Microsoft as well.

You'll note from my last entry, that I'm a little pissed at old Billy Gates. So I got to thinking.. As a Citrix engineer, how can I screw Microsoft? Of course the answer is licensing - the same way MS screws us. It's kinda poetic when you think about it.

There's potentially two ways to do this. Both of them are illegal, so you're on your own if you get caught.

User Mode licensing - TS User licensing with Win2003 is something that most Citrix Engineers don't mess with much. The idea is that you set up user level licensing and then you pay for each user who would be accessing a terminal server in your environment. In reality, it works much differently.

You see user level TS licensing is a new feature with Win2k3 server. Unfortunately, it's half baked. If you log on to a terminal server that's running in user licensing mode, it checks to see if there is a TS Licensing server on the network. That's it. If it finds a license server you're in. Money in the bank. So you can have a TS License server set up with only 1 CAL installed, and thousands of users would still be able to connect as long as your Terminal Servers are using user licensing. Nice huh?

Now if you opt to stay with device cals (the older win2k model that most of us are probably familiar with) the solution is a bit more extensive, but is still within reach.

The device CAL is stored on each workstation in the following registry location
HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\MSLicensing\Store\

If the device tries to connect and doesn't have an entry there, a CAL is issued.. or if no CALs are available - a *temporary* CAL is issued. The temporary CALs expire in 120 days, which is plenty of time to get your users working. The problem of course is that after 120 days they get an error if there are no legitimate device CALs available.

So the way to get around that is to have a TS Licensing server that has a few device CALs installed, but all of them being in use. In this scenario, workstations that connect without a CAL are issued a temporary one. If the temporary CAL is deleted before it expires, it will get another temporary CAL, and so on.

It's the "and so on.." part that we're most concerned with. If you keep deleting the temporary CAL at login, they get a new one the next time they connect. This can be done over and over.

So a simple line or two in the login script to delete the license store (the registry key above) when users logon is enough to keep your entire enterprise running on temporary CALs.

Now go get busy,
-CG

TS License Server and the Chamber of Secrets

So here's the scoop. We're retiring our main TS Licensing server and replacing it with a new box. Sounds simple yes? Yeah not so much.

The basic process is this you get on the phone with the MS Licensing Clearinghouse, which is a boiler room operation somewhere overseas, give them a bunch of numbers, and if the stars line up just right, then they give you a bunch of licenses to install.

So after the myriad of mindless voice prompts:
"Please say the operating system you're caling about"

"Windows 2003"

"It sounded like you said Windows XP. Is this correct?"

"No."
"I'm sorry, please say the name of the operating .."

"Windows 2003"

"It sounded like you said Windows 2003. Is that correct?"

"Yes. Damn this is a pain"

"Are you calling about licensing for terminal server, licensing for.."

"Yes. Terminal Server"

"I'm sorry. Please say your selection again.."

"Terminal server. Terminal Server! Terminal-fucking-server. What the mickey mouse fuck is your problem? None of your other products even sound remotely like the words 'terminal server'. You blind horse fucking toaster.."

"Transferring you to an operator"

"Mother Fucker!"

---Operator picks up---

[in a very thick indian accent] "Halo and tank you fah callind microsoft lichsing. My name is Bill. How can I assist you today?"

"Your name isn't Bill is it?"

"My name is Bill, yes"

"Seriously, what's your name"

[quietly] "It is.. uh.. Prasheid"

"Uh huh.. you guys in Redmond?"

"Redmond?"

"Nevermind."

"Look I need 90 thousand TS device CALs."

"What?" [Noises of the guy shitting a golden and curry scented brick can be faintly heard in the background]

"TS CALs - 90 thousand of em"

"90?"

"Ninety .. Nine.. zero.. thousand. Nine.. Zero.. Zero..Zero.. Zero."

"Hold on"

[Shitty hold music ensues]

"Sir I can't give you that many licenses."

"Our SA agreement should cover that amount.. what's the problem?"

"I'm not allowed to give you 90 thousand licenses"

"But we paid for that many. How am I supposed to get them?"

"You need to call back."

"What?"

"I can only grant 9999 per call"

"So I have to call back 9 more times to get the licenses that we paid for?"

"Yes sir"

"That's bullshit."

"I'm sorry?"

"Nevermind.. alright then.. so let go ahead with it.

"Okay sir.."

"Buttfucker"
----------------------


F-ing rediculous.

USB Gets Silly

It was bound to happen sooner or later.

Someone has written a worm that leverages USB drives as a means of propagation. I'm surprised that it took this long.

Think about it. What are thumbdrives used for? I plug it into my computer, copy a file or two, and then you take it and copy the file to your machine. You might as well be having unprotected sex, except with a bunch of little ones and zeros.

Here's the skinny from Sophos. Ha get it? Worm.. skinny? Ha! Nevermind.

------------------------------------------

Security researchers at Sophos are warning of a new Trojan worm virus that is being spread via infected USB device.

According to the security software maker, the W32/SillyFD-AA program, or Silly worm, automatically spreads itself to any USB storage device connected to a PC it has infected, and then passes itself along to any subsequent machines to which the removable thumb drive is inserted.

Once loaded onto a computer, the worm creates a hidden file labeled as "autorun.inf" from which it continues to propagate itself. Among the only discernable affects of the attack is that it changes the title of users' Internet Explorer browsers to read: Hacked by 1BYTE.

The same type of attack could be used to spread far more malicious programs such as spyware or rootkits.
Such attempts to infect via physical interface could become increasingly popular. According to a recent report published by Centennial Software, removable storage drives have actually become the leading cause of security concern for IT administrators, based on a survey the company conducted at a European conference.

------------------------------------------

Personally, if I were a l33t hax0r filled with all that post pubescent angst trying to stick it to the man, fuck the system, and all that - I would be kinda pissed that my worm got named Silly.

-CG

Edgesight ADM

Yes, it's been a while since the last post. Sorry. Have you looked outside lately? The sun is out. I have a life. That means the give-a-shit quotent regarding things in the office takes a sharp decline. Since I pilfer work hours to update this blog, citrixguy.net falls within the scope of that phenominon.

Anyways, I came up with a basic ADM Template that I thought might be useful for some of you wokies that play with Edgesight. It allows you to set some fundamental settings that make managing your deployment a little less painful. Like most of these things, it's not as pretty as it could be (see also: give-a-shit quotent above), but it gets the job done and gives you something to play with.

There's five parameters I'm setting with this:
- the edgesight app server name
- the app server path
- the app server port
- The Department Name
- The Company Name

If you don't know how to make this work as a GPO, take your hands off the keyboard immediately and go fling yourself in front of the nearest bus. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you are a pus-filled boil on the ass of the IT industry.

All you not so dumb people, please enjoy with my compliments.

-CG

--------------------------------------------------

CLASS MACHINE

CATEGORY "Edgesight Server Configuration"

POLICY "Server Port"

#if VERSION >= 3 EXPLAIN "This policy defines the port on which the Edgesight web server is running. The default is 80" #endif

KEYNAME "SOFTWARE\Citrix\System Monitoring\Agent\EdgeSight\4.00\NetAccess\"

PART "Server Port" EDITTEXT VALUENAME "ServerPort" DEFAULT "80" #if VERSION >= 2 EXPANDABLETEXT #endif END PART

END POLICY ; Server Port

POLICY "Server Path"

KEYNAME "SOFTWARE\Citrix\System Monitoring\Agent\EdgeSight\4.00\NetAccess\"

PART "ServerPath" EDITTEXT KEYNAME "SOFTWARE\Citrix\System Monitoring\Agent\EdgeSight\4.00\NetAccess\" VALUENAME "ServerPath" END PART

END POLICY ; Server Path

POLICY "ServerName"

#if VERSION >= 3 EXPLAIN "This defines the name of the Edgesight server. The default is EATABAGOFDICKS" #endif

KEYNAME "SOFTWARE\Citrix\System Monitoring\Agent\EdgeSight\4.00\NetAccess"

PART "ServerName" EDITTEXT VALUENAME "ServerName" DEFAULT "ENTER YOUR STUPID SERVER NAME HERE" END PART

END POLICY ; ServerName

POLICY "Department"

#if VERSION >= 3 EXPLAIN "This defines the Department name which usually corresponds to the partinular Farm." #endif

KEYNAME "SOFTWARE\Citrix\System Monitoring\Agent\EdgeSight\"

PART "Department" EDITTEXT VALUENAME "Department" DEFAULT "ENTER YOUR DEPARTMENT" END PART

END POLICY ; Department

POLICY "Company"

KEYNAME "SOFTWARE\Citrix\System Monitoring\Agent\EdgeSight\"

PART "Company" EDITTEXT KEYNAME "SOFTWARE\Citrix\System Monitoring\Agent\EdgeSight\" VALUENAME "Company" DEFAULT "ENTER YOUR COMPANY NAME" #if VERSION >= 2 EXPANDABLETEXT #endif END PART

END POLICY ; Company

END CATEGORY ; Edgesight Server Configuration

[STRINGS]